A Bunch of Really Dumb Smart People!

So I'm sitting around with friends on the New Year weekend, happy new years to all that I haven't spoken to, and we are discussing many issues in a casual forum. And I realize exactly how fucking different we all are.

Of the same token I see that we all pretty much have the exact same flaw; we do not heed our own advice.

Now what does that say about a group of people, myself included, that I find intelligent. I sat there and thought that some of the things that we disagreed over fairly mundane. Oh we disagreed passionately, but it was still mundane. Because in the end, we are pretty much all that each other has as far as trust and deep friendships. That of course begs the question of how close a few of us still are? I wish that I could claim that I have not let some of my close relationships wane, but that would be entirely too close to a lie.

Again, I ask what makes really smart people not sit back and listen to themselves sometimes? And should I as a concerned friend try to make them see this? Or any of the other reason that we spout of half-rhetorically to each other?

I realized that I am to ambitious and they either do not share them or they find them pointless. I noticed that one friend does not listen to himself talk, or he would be doing a great many things different with his life. The other doesn't take the advice proffered, though maybe unsolicited. And i don't get up off my ass and do the things that I know that I should be out doing. I have a lady-friend whom i care for deeply. Yes I know, hard to believe right coming from Mr. Sensitivity himself, but I do. She has recently made me an offer to come live with her, mate with her, and resubmit my genetic uniqueness upon the populace. A highly tempting offer, some of the details that we have discussed I will not go into, but let's just say the proposition is more than favorable in my direction and leave it at that.

Yet I find myself sitting here, on this stupid computer, typing away all my current concerns for hearth and home. Why am I not on the first thing smoking the hell out of the burg. Is it fear? Is it uncertainty? Is it that i know that I have been in love twice already before I was even 24, and know that I have only one shot left? Why am I afraid to risk it?

Some might speculate that it is a fear of the unknown. Others will swear that it is the fear of being hurt by a woman again. Funny thing is, no woman has ever been able to hurt me, I won't allow it. All the pining that you all have witness the Merc with a Mouth doing was self-inflicted. Does that even surprise any of you? That is one that I want you to answer even if you if you don't comment on anything else.

Well I am out, going to do damage to the world at large now, newly motivated.

Peace